Valentine's Day Sucks
by bored spitless
Summary: I hate being alone on holidays. it's just so dreary. but alas, maybe my good friend could cheer me up? No lemony good stuff, just a cute cynical story. kakashi/iruka.


I hate holidays. They're not fun, especially when you're all alone. Sigh. I lean forward and rest my head on my hands which are resting on my knees. I'm exhausted. But as I was saying, I hate holidays.

Let's start with March. I feel like saving my **favorite **holiday for last. So, March. St. Patrick's day....I actually like this one. Drinks for everyone!! Then there's April. April Fools. Another one I like. Hm, maybe I don't hate holidays. Anyways, Aprils fools, yes. Then there's May. Mother's Day. A fun holiday when you don't have a mother. Sigh.

Then there's June. What holiday is in June? Father's day? No, that's in August, isn't it? So, no June holiday. Whoo. Then there's July. Free Pie! That's one of the things I like about America. They consider pie to be an American tradition .so, why not have a barbeque and pie on the day they get their independence? But I digress.

Then there's August. What happens in August? Fall? No. Guess nothing. Then September. I hate September. Kids go back to school, and since I'm a teacher, I go back to work. Damn. Then there's Halloween. Not fun when you're walking home and these big kids, maybe 16 or so, come and kick your ass. Not fun at all.

Then there's November. Fun, if you have a family. Otherwise, you're eating your TV dinner in front of the TV, being bored. Then Christmas. Shoot me dead. I' a loner, yes, so I don't get much then. And I realize Christmas is a time when you spend time with loved ones. But aha! My loved ones are dead. But I digress. New Years. Another night of free drinks. And kissing. I once went to a party, some random person came up and kissed me o the mouth. Nice.

And finally. My favoritest holiday ever. Valentine's Day. Shiver.

I hate this holiday for the obvious reason. I'm alone. Once again. I have to sit at home and watch lots of lovey dovey movies, all about how love is the answer for everything. Shake head here. It's not. It's actually a consumer's holiday. A day when you buy all kinds of useless crap and candy. No fun really.

I get up, ready for bed. It's only 3 in the afternoon. On the best day of the year. February 14th. Sigh. I shake my head and walk to the elevators, planning on riding up to my apartment, going inside, getting ice cream and watching slasher movies all day. Sigh.

So, now I have to wait. I'm not a patient man. Never have been. So I hit the button again. And again. And once more, again.

"You can keep hitting it. It's not going to get here any faster."

I turn around and see my neighbor, Iruka Umino. A very good person, confidante, and friend in general. Why's he here?

I smile and say, "Yes, I realize this." I look at him and see all his bags. And how he's a little weighed down with them. I offer, "Would you like me to help you out?"

Iruka breathes a sigh of relief. "Finally you ask." He shakes his head with a smile as he hands me two of his grocery bags and one of his work bags.

I chuckle. "Sorry. I thought you had in all under control."

He playful glares at me. I laugh.

Iruka is a big time CEO in some major business. But I don't know why he works there. He's obviously not happy. He was happier when he helped his nephew with his homework. But money is a fickle thing. Anyway, Iruka is the opposite of me. He's tan with brown eyes and hair. He was scared long ago, when his father got angry at his mother, killed here, sliced Iruka, and then killed himself. Luckily Iruka was okay. But now he has a large scar over his nose.

He's physically fit. But he's relatively short. But compared to me, most people are indeed short. Then again, my hair is extremely tall. Anyways, Iruka is well liked. Except when he gets mad. When he's mad, hit the deck. But I think it's funny. I purposefully piss him off. But not today.

I look Iruka over. He looks as if he just rolled out of bed. "Got any plans tonight?"

Iruka shakes his head/ "nope. Just going to be sitting on the couch, watching some lame movie about true love." He rolled his eyes and gags. I chuckle.

"What no plans with your boyfriend?" Iruka always had a boyfriend. He was that kind of person.

He rolled his honey colored eyes. Honey colored eyes? What? I mentally shake my head and listen to him speak. "No. I'm by myself this year." He shrugs.

I frown. Wasn't he just dating that white haired douche? "What about uh...shot, what's his name? Mitudo, uh, Miro, something with an M." I didn't like him much.

Iruka nods sadly. "Mizuki. Um, I don't want to talk about him." He nods and looks away.

What happened? Hm. My detective mode goes into overdrive. "Really now? What happened?"

Iruka smiles sadly. "Please Kakashi. I don't want to talk about it."

Oh. That bad huh? I nod. "Ok." I know when to stop.

Iruka shakes his head. But enough about me. What about you? Got any plans to spend the evening with someone?" He smiled sweetly at me. What?

I shake my head, trying to get away from my brain. "Um, no. Not really." I shrug. I realize something then. We're both alone on Valentine's Day. Why drink alone, when you can share the bottle? "But, you know, if you get sick of the gag fest, then come on over. I'm watching lots of slasher films."

He laughs and shakes his head. "You're the only one who can watch that on Valentine's Day."

"Not true. This was a tradition t my fraternity house."

Iruka nods sarcastically. I know this, because it was over dramatic, "oh right, right. Because 6 guys sitting around watching chick flicks is okay." He shakes his head.

I laugh. "Okay, fine. Laugh. But watch you come on over and sit your ass on my couch, watching my horror films." I laugh as I shake my head.

Iruka shakes his head. "No thanks. I have a little hope for Valentine's Day, you know?"

I roll my eyes. "Fine. But the offers still available."

Iruka shakes his head and turns to the elevators.

This is truly the slowest elevator in existence. But we use it. It's faster than the stairs. Especially when you live on the 36th floor.

The elevator (finally) gets there and we climb aboard. We go up to our floor in silence. And it's not awkward. It's comfortable.

We reach our floor and we go to Iruka's door. I still have his stuff after all. He unlocks the door and lets me in. His place is nice and cozy. I carry his bags to the kitchen and drop them off. I stuff my hands in my pockets, not sure what to do now. "Um..."

Iruka smiled at me. "Thanks Kakashi. Um, I guess, I'll see you later." He nods sadly.

I smile. "Yeah, no problem. Um, see ya." Why was I having a problem with leaving him now? Seriously? Normally, I was gone already. Not finding an excuse to stay.

Iruka smiles at me again. "I might stop y later. You know, to make sure you can actually sleep." He smiled wider at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah sure. See ya." I turn and leave. Sadly. No! With pride and not sad! My damn brain was going crazy.

I walk across the hall to my place. I unlock the door and walk in, locking the door behind me. Iruka has a key to my place and I have one to his. This way, in case we get locked out, one of us can get the other inside.

* * *

It's about 30 minutes after I've left Iruka. I've showered, eaten, and now, I'm making popcorn. The movie, Halloween, the original, the new one sucks horribly. Anyways, the movie's in and it's just waiting for someone to push play. I'm preoccupied with putting popcorn in a bowl. Don't ask my why I do this. I just do. I'm walking to my spot on the couch when I hear a knock on the door. Hm???

I set the bowl down on the table and walk to the door. "Who is it?"

"Iruka."

Why didn't he just come in? Whatever. I open the door and let him. "Hey Iruka. Get bored over there?"

He smiled sadly, Uh, yeah. I realized I'd seen that movie before."

Was it just me or did Iruka look like he was going to cry? Time for distraction. "Oh noes. This no good. Good ting you come now. We watch movie from beginning." I need to work on my accents a little.

Iruka smiled. "Really. What movie?" he looks to the screen. "Halloween? Really? I think you got the wrong holiday."

I fake glare at him. "I went with this because I felt My Bloody Valentine was too clichéd."

He nodded with a smile. "It is. Good choice."

We go and sit down. I grab the DVD remote and press play. The movie starts.

Iruka's looking at me. I know this because I can see his from my peripheral. I turn to him. "Something wrong?"

He shakes his head. "No. I just didn't realize you wore your mask inside your own home."

My eyes widen surprised. I'd left it on? I feel the lower half of my face and feel cloth. I smile sheepishly. "Oh right." I take it off, watching Iruka. He has his arms crossed over his chest and he's subtly trying to see my face. I stop the removal. "Haven't you seen my face before?"

He shakes his head. "Nuh-uh. This is my first time."

Inappropriate joke time. "Really? I thought you had."

He shakes his head again. "Nope. I don't come over here often. We go to my place normally."

Another inappropriate joke. "I know, but you've seen my face before."

"No."

"HM." I shrug and take off my mask. "See it?"

Iruka's eyes widen slightly before he looks off with a blush. I hide my face because I don't want anyone to be disgusted with my scar. I had to have an eye transplant, yes it is possible, and something happened and they scared my face horribly. Not just that, but I have a red eye and a blue one. How's that for kicks. I started wearing the mask when I started teaching. I told my students, get good grades and they'd get to see my face. They passed.

"It's okay. You and stare if you want. I don't mind."

Iruka turned back to look at me. He bit his lip before saying, "You're a lot prettier than I thought."

I frown, confused. "Huh?"

He blushes. "Nothing." He turns to the screen.

"No, no. What did you say? I heard you, but I want you to say it again."

"Oh. Well, I don't remember." He looks harder at the screen.

"Well, I do. So say it again."

Iruka turned on me. "You remember everything don't you? I remember you once made a guy cry because you reminded him of something that had happened years ago."

I nod. "Yup. I remember everything. But back to the subject we were on before, ice attempt at distraction though, you think I'm purty?"

Iruka blushed. "No."

I smile and laugh a little. "You do! Wow Iruka! I mean, you're pretty too, but don't come on to me. Especially today!"

He shakes his head with a smile. "You're such an ass."

"I realize this." I lean back in my chair, ready to get into some good old fashioned horror films.

* * *

We're halfway through the first film now. We're eating popcorn and everything's fine, except for when we went to get some at the same time. Our hands brush and he jerks hi hand away, knocking the bowl over, breaking it and sending popcorn everywhere. He naturally flips out.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry Kakashi! I'll buy you a new bowl." He gets down on his knees and starts to pick the glass up.

"Stop Iruka. I'll pick it up." I push his hands out the way. Mine are in gloves and I don't want him to hurt his fingers.

"No. Kakashi. I made the mess. Let me fix it." He continues to try and pick everything up. "I'll buy you a new bowl, I promise. Just tell me where you got it. It might be a little different, but it can pretend to be the same."

I shake my head. No getting through to him now. I take his hands and place them on his thighs as I take his face with my hands. "Stop Iruka. It's just a bowl. You don't have to replace it." I smile at him, hoping he'll calm down.

Instead, the proximity of our situation, finally registers in his brain. He blushes bright red and looks down. Then it hits me. I'm holding his face, leaning forward and pretty damn close to him. It looks like I'm going to kiss him!

Iruka looks up at me shyly before looking away. His face feels so hot in my hands. And soft. So incredibly soft. I lean a tad bit closer. He truly is a beautiful man. Wait what?!!?!?!?!?! I let his face go and lean back. "Um, yeah. Don't worry. Sit on the couch and I'll clean it."

He nods and gets on the couch, moving out of my way.

I hurriedly pick up the glass, not wanting to be in the same room right now. I plan on picking it all up then carrying it into the kitchen, dropping it into the garbage can and hanging out in there for a while. However, my plan was foiled by a small piece of glass.

I drew my hand back with a hiss of pain. "Ah." I look down into my hand, not seeing the glass. Iruka's at my side in seconds. "Kakashi let me see."

He takes my hand and holds it, inspecting the damage. I find I can't speak. Hell, I can barely breathe. He looks up at me and smiles, still holing my hand. "The glass isn't there anymore.

I don't what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was because I wanted to. Or maybe because Iruka looked so cute all of a sudden. Or maybe because the horror movie set the right mood. But I know for sure, it was not because it was Valentine's Day, I was all alone with a cute male in front of me. Definitely not.

Doesn't matter why. But in the next few minutes, I find myself pushing Iruka into the couch, hovering over him with my tongue down his throat. He tastes delicious.

I'm getting excited. In more ways then one. I push against his thigh and he breaks from the kiss, groaning deeply. He presses back against me and it's my turn to moan. He feels fantastic under me. I want to tell him how much I want him. How badly I want to take him, when I feel an interesting vibration against my junk. I groan and pull away, surprised. I reach into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Someone's calling for you."

He smiled at me as he took the phone. He pressed the little green button and said, "Hello?"

I listened to this side of the conversation. I was quick to pick up. I rolled off him and sat down, letting him sit up.

"Oh hi Naruto! Um, am I doing anything?" He looked at me from the corner of his eye. I have half a mind to say I was getting ready to, but I manage to refrain. "Depends. Why?" He raises his eyebrows in shock. "Um, Naruto now's not the best time-" Iruka was quiet as his nephew yelled something at him. "Naruto, I understand but-" He shook his head and rolled his eyes as he got up and started to walk away. "I don't care if he has a swimmer's body. I'm busy doing something." He shook his head quickly as he walked through my swinging kitchen door. "Naruto, I do love you, just- Naruto!"

The door slides shut and I feel a little hurt. And I'm not sure why. Maybe because I know he's going to leave me to go have a date with Swimmer dude. I can't compare. I sigh and look to the screen, not even paying attention to the blood that squirted everywhere. I was really having fun. Before the making out. Iruka was a fun guy.

Iruka comes out of the kitchen with a sheepish look. I smile at him, hiding my disappointment. "See ya."

He looks at me sadly. "Huh?"

"See ya. You're going on your date with swimmer guy." I shrugged. Good for him. Go out and see the world while you still can.

He frowns before walking over to the couch. He plops down and looks at me. "You aren't getting rid of me yet. I told him no. I also had to bribe him with ramen, but that's a whole another story." He smiles his Iruka smile and I know he's serious.

I sigh. "Man. You're an idiot." I shake my head, mock serious. "If I had been you, I would have gone. Go see a hot man." I shrug. "But hey, what do I know." Secretly, I'm ecstatic. He's staying with me. Cool.

He playfully sighs. "I know. I should have gone. He has a swimmer's body." He sighed again. "But I chose you." He shook his head again. "Whatever though. I'll have to suffer."

I smile happy. Even after we made out, we're still friends. That's the best ever.

We turn back to the movie, planning on actually watching it this time, when my hand subtly touches his. Gently. My forefinger to his forefinger. But he smiles this big wide smile and moves his hand so we end up holding hands. I smile as I watch the horror. I see Iruka smiling as well.

**Well. Hm. I don't sound cynical, do I? of course I do. Anyways, here's this. I think it was actually quite cute. Also, I haven't seen the original Halloween, but I know the originals are always better. Now, time for disclaimers. I don't own Naruto and characters. I don't own the original Halloween. The newer one I do, but hey. Um, yeah. Hope you enjoyed it. A cuteish thing for Valentine's day. Cynical thing, but it is cutish. **


End file.
